Have you every heard the quote: “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned!”? The full quote is from William Congreve who said “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, and hell a fury like a woman scorned.”
What do you think it might be when condescending and criminalizing someone in their choices with their own body? I once visited a protected habitat called crater lake. When we entered the forest around it we were given a pamphlet that warned of the high danger of forest fires. It described that conservationists had made a catastrophic mistake in the last century by trying to prevent all fires in this area.
Like Alice in Wonderland, I found myself falling through this darkness into a vivid fantasy of being in an old and what felt like familiar house that had an attic door with a string. Entranced with this pathway in my mind's eye, I imagined reaching up and pulling the string to unlock the doorway in the ceiling while silently talking to the life inside of me and saying “thank you for coming, and I can’t do this right now and with him. I am done.”
What many in my life do not know about me is that I was once pregnant. I only realized it about a month after my partner and I had mutually ended our relationship due to our careers taking us in very different directions that were highly unlikely to be near each other for many years to come.
Many of you might not know this about me, but in my down time, between being a therapist and organizational consultant, I am a technology geek and follow the latest topics like the newest digital art creation programs and other gadgetry trends. I like to do digital collage (like the piece to the left from 2015) and have enjoyed learning new ways to create multi-layered digital experiences over the years in a variety of art programs. A few years ago my brother generously shipped me his custom built...
I haven't written here in almost a year. In my personal life, I've been in a period of deep silence as a human being. Most of my friends and all of my family has faded away slowly into a profound silence between us that feels more and more like it might last for the rest of my life. I have been questioning myself at every level of who I am and what I am doing on this planet...
Michael Meade, a world renown mythologist who applies ancient 'tales' to modern times, has been talking lately about the liminal period of time we are in. Liminal means whatever is above sub-liminal, or the place where we can obviously see that the rhythms of chaos and creation meet. It is the threshold in-between where we are and where we want to be. As individuals within a greater bubble of consciousness, intention, and action, how can we exist in the in-between that all of us are in without feeling torn apart by uncertainty and longing? I believe that while it is the hardest place to exist from...
Each year as the holidays approach, dread seems to consume me more and more. For example, it has been at least two years since I stopped listening to Christmas music, eight years since I decorated anything for ANY holiday, and one year since I resolved on Thanksgiving that it would be my last. This reflection is about transforming my resentment by calling myself out...
[The following is an excerpted and edited version of a paper written in college. Full circle, I am once again looking at the difference between atonement and apology in my life and found it less painful and more relevant to share publicly some of my story.] Atonement is a loaded word in my family. First, there are religious connotations (e.g., the biblical “atonement day” that my family observed for many years), then there are associations with family failures to resolve conflicts, and if ever discussed together, I imagine there would probably be a philosophical debate of the general definition and atonement’s importance.
Aha moments are a trending title these days with Oprah and Brene` Brown on the forefront of the media coverage around finding our soul in a society warped by appearance and short-term fixes of every kind. Consider the meme phenomena of social media, which is often criticized as a lazy venting of semi-cooked thoughts. It also might be that memes are often a simplified nugget of a person’s aha-ha moment. I've been called out online for
According to Kim Scott, Radical Candor means challenging directly while caring personally. Kim is a leadership development coach who's worked with some of the top tech companies' leadership in the world. Her model has released me to be more me as leader and human. One of my favorite ah-hah!’s from Kim’s stories was recognizing that I can be perceived as obnoxiously aggressive or ruinously empathic and I might have been consciously practicing Radical Candor all along. The goal is not to have everyone going around and hi-fiving me for being perfectly radically candid!
About the Author
Ruth Diaz is an organizational consultant and leadership coach on connecting relationships with ourselves and each other at every level. She currently works in Portland, Oregon.